My Experience with The Dark Side of Self-Help Books.
After graduating high school for two years, I read a lot of self-help books. After all those years, one new year, I thought, Damn! I did nothing despite all my resolutions throughout the years. I simply create goals and read numerous motivational and productive books; at the end of the day, I do nothing. But I feel amazing as if I did an excellent job. That day, I realized that those self-help books were nothing but a bad addiction for me. The euphoria and daydreaming from the self-help book make you think that you’re doing well, even if you’re just squandering time. This painful discovery for many people does not occur.
So, why do we have a false sense of accomplishment?
1. Psychological Reinforcement:
- The Placebo Effect: Sometimes, simply believing you’re doing something beneficial can trigger positive feelings and even produce real results. The positive mental shift can boost your confidence and well-being, contributing to a sense of accomplishment.
- Positive Self-Talk: Authors often use encouraging language and affirmations, which can create a temporary boost in self-esteem and confidence. This “positive self-talk” can trick your brain into feeling like you’ve already accomplished something, even if it’s just reading the book. Some self-help books tell stories of successful transformations or offer concrete examples of people applying the principles discussed. Reading about their successes can create a sense of vicarious achievement, as if you too have accomplished something by association.
- Goal Setting and Planning: Many self-help books guide you through goal-setting and planning exercises. Even if you don’t actually implement them, simply imagining success and creating a roadmap can trigger a sense of accomplishment and excitement.
2. Neurochemical Response:
- Dopamine Rush: Reading motivational content can activate the reward system in your brain, leading to the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. This feels good, giving you a temporary sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.
- Oxytocin Release: Self-help books often focus on empathy and understanding, which can trigger the release of oxytocin, a “feel-good” hormone associated with bonding and connection. This can create a positive emotional state, even if it’s temporary.
3. Cognitive Biases:
- Availability Bias: This bias makes you focus on recently encountered information, like the self-help book you just read. You might overestimate your ability to implement the learnings due to their current accessibility in your mind.
- Confirmation Bias: You might subconsciously interpret ambiguous situations in a way that supports your existing beliefs, in this case, your belief that you’ve already made progress because you read the book. Self-help books often highlight and validate common struggles and emotions. As you read, you might find yourself nodding along, thinking “Yes, that’s exactly how I feel!” This act of recognition can be validating and create a sense of personal growth, even if you haven’t taken concrete steps yet.
After my realization, I did what any reasonable person would do. I banned myself from reading self-help books. Even if I read it will be one per 3–4 months. So, I read ‘Atomic Habits’ by James Clear and implemented the book for the next 5–6 months. I did not touch a single self-help book in the meantime. About this, I will write someday.
And the important matter is, While feeling inspired is great, true change comes from consistent application of the learnings. Don’t expect immediate results. Personal growth is a gradual process that requires sustained effort.
